• First Majestic Comet@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    11·
    11 months ago

    Of coarse, being a Femboy is 100% valid. I know what the post is implying and I’m acknowledging people who identify as male being GNC and liking cute stuff are still valid as their identity, despite some people suggesting otherwise (not saying you’re doing it by the way). I know that egg culture is very much a problem for GNC people and I’d just like to say, give it a rest, don’t they go through enough already, be supportive of them, that means respecting their identity, even if it contradicts your idea of gender stereotypes i.e. a boy who chooses to dress and act cute and feminine but still identifies as male. The important part is how they identify, not how they present.

    Oh and I know that people are going to say “But FirstMajesticComet, there’s a line between being a Femboy and being transfem” I would say yes, yes there is, and it’s determined by how they identify, gender identity is self-deterministic, it’s not an outside factor, it’s true because the person says it is. Fighting or arguing against it is invalidating and disrespectful to their identity, keep that in mind.

    Here’s a chart showing presentation and how they identify, notice that presentation does not affect or determine identity in this:

    I apologize if my comment seemed harsh and cold towards the OP specifically, I have no ill intentions towards them as a person, or even their actions here. I only seek to show how it is important to recognize and respect the identities of GNC people and not crush or invalidate them inadvertently (or intentionally if you think they’re “in-denial”, it’s still invalidating them because you’re not respecting who they say they are) they do not deserve this kind of treatment. Remember the golden rule, treat others the way you want to be treated.

    • Nikki@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      4·
      11 months ago

      i get what youre saying, and agree with everything here, but i think its important to remember that i am shitposting in a subreddit consisting of mostly transfem people who have a very self deprecating sense of humor.

      this wasnt posted with the intent of harming gnc people or femboys, its to get a chuckle out of former eggs who went through this like i did, to be taken at face value and moved past

      • First Majestic Comet@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        11 months ago

        Yeah I know you didn’t mean any harm. Initially I was not entirely aware of that fact as the community has a femboy icon, I assumed it was a mixed community of femboys and transfem due to that fact (maybe it used to be at one point). But I think that makes the point all the more important as a large majority of egging is unintentional as a form of self-validation, in many cases it’s not very harmful on its own but as a whole it can perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes and indirectly lead to the other kind of egging which is directly harmful (i.e. “Oh hon you dress like a girl and act like a girl, stop being in denial and accept that you are trans”). Which is what commonly happens in r/egg_irl (the Reddit one, not the one here at [email protected], the one here doesn’t seem to do it as much).

        Point being self deprecating humor is fine, but it’s also important to consider how it affects others, especially when it comes to things like egging which aren’t as widely recognized as issues as they should be (a person who is egged is usually likely to get egged more, when they seek help and support from others as opposed to being affirmed in their identity i.e. “Well it is true that you don’t act or dress like a boy, maybe they have a point [Name redacted]”).

        Again none of this is specifically directed at you, I only seek to spread the message so people like us can be less invalidated, especially in queer spaces.

    • Jentu@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      2·
      3 months ago

      God, I need to log off. I saw that this chart has a “presentation” axis and immediately got defensive in the same way I get whenever people complain that I don’t look “androgynous enough”, but then I read the chart lol 😅