House Speaker Mike Johnson describes himself as a ChristianĀ before anything else. He hasĀ saidĀ his āfaith informs everything I do.ā He hasĀ toldĀ people curious about his views to āpick up a Bible.ā His wifeĀ reportedlyĀ runs a counseling service whose operating agreement, which he himself notarized,Ā states, āWe believe and the Bible teaches that any form of sexual immorality, such as adulteryā¦is sinful and offensive to God.āĀ He hasĀ saidĀ he and his son use a software program called Covenant Eyes to ensure neither is looking at porn.
Given all this, you may think that Johnson would not be comfortable showing up to a criminal trial to defend a guy who allegedly had an affair with an adult film star (according to the adult film star anyway, though Trump denies it), paid her to stay quiet about the alleged affair, and then was accused of covering up said payment. But you would think wrong!
On Tuesday, Johnson attendedĀ Donald Trumpās hush money trial in Manhattan, whereāprior to the proceedings getting underwayāthe congressional leader nodded approvingly at Trump from behind a metal barrier, like a groupie at his favorite bandās concert.
Accused of cheating on his wifeā¦? Seriously? This is the best they could come up with? How about:
āDevout Christian Mike Johnson Shows Up to Hush Money Trial to Defend the Poster Child for the Seven Deadly Sinsā
Lust: āIām automatically attracted to beautiful ā I just start kissing them. Itās like a magnet. Just kiss. I donāt even wait,ā Trump said. āWhen youāre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab āem by the pussy. You can do anything.ā
Gluttony: Trumpās favorite McDonaldās order: two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fishes, and a large chocolate milkshake.
Greed: Do we really need examples?
Sloth: Trump ascribes to what has been described as the ābatteryā theory of, um, life force. Evan Osnos, in a profile of Trump in the New Yorker a few years back, described it thusly: āOther than golf, he considers exercise misguided, arguing that a person, like a battery, is born with a finite amount of energy.ā
Wrath: āLyinā Cassidy said that I threw my lunch at the wall,ā Trump wrote on his social network, Truth Social. āI actually threw it at Rudy Giuliani, and he ducked.ā
Envy: We have a new ailment that has come onto the political scene and that is presidential jealousy. I donāt ever remember a current president taking constant and ongoing digs at a former president. Now, I can say that I have seen it. Almost since day one, Donald Trump has made disparaging and disrespectful remarks about Barack Obama.
Pride: Do we need examples? The man puts his name in gold letters on everything he touches.
What are you gonna do when you go to heaven and see Donald Trump there?
Immediately test my ability to kill myself again
You die and respawn on the same spot
That sounds like hell
There is no hell, only heaven āwhere Jesus died for your sinsā or something like that
Feel pretty sure that I was right that a loving God wouldnāt sentence anyone to eternal torture and damnation.