A must is for our core values to be aligned: the way they see the world, as in politics religion (or lack thereof in my case), ethics, etc. Anything that might result in coming to a crossroads down the line. I don’t want children so I wouldn’t be with someone who is hard set on having them. I don’t eat animals or animal products so I wouldn’t be with someone who does. Above all, I look for kindness in people and I’m very grateful that there is so much of it in my current life partner 💕
I don’t think taste is something that has to match, or interests. A general curiosity regarding what your partner likes is great but to me, a shared taste in music or movies is not necessary.
My current partner I found a near instantaneous synergy. We both fell in love pretty much right away and we met on Hinge of all places. The texts were nice, but meeting each other in person was even sweeter when we realized both how similar we are and how many things we can share with each other.
From that point on it was bonding, working on our relationship and growing closer to each other. I’m not quite sure how to put it. There’s certainly an immediate bond in a lot of the people I’ve dated, perhaps out of 2 of them we “gradually” grew closer. I’m the type to move fast, anyways, so I guess that could be my first preference. I don’t rush, but at the same time I like it when me and my partner are endlessly curious about each other and want to know everything right away.
Empathy and life experience is nice. My current partner isn’t from as rough as a background as most of my others previously but they do not fail to understand the strife and struggle that a lot of people go through. Emotional intelligence, introspection; that whole thing.
Maturity and responsibility is also a very big one. I like someone with niche interests as well.
I could go on for a while, but while politics are important; the partner I have currently is quite politically apathetic. They enjoy listening to me talk about politics, pretty much always sides with what I’m saying about politics and understands it to the bit of deeper minutia but just isn’t particularly interested in participating or choosing a side. I have gotten them more interested in certain things, however.
It’s taught me that allies can be people that don’t seem politically aligned at all and simply just agree with pretty much everything that your saying, but aren’t terminally online like we are to really attach themselves to labels, identities, etc. They can carry respect, be tolerant, support our cause but I guess with the high-stress field they’re in it’s hard for them to really think about things like that while studying for it. Not quite sure how others would interpret it.
Shiny spurs, good horsemanship, and the fastest gun in the west
Gotta be a conversationist. If you don’t like talking about stuff, then it won’t work long term with me.
Hot and Communist, idk, I can’t pull and there aren’t many left leaning people over here, just liberals and hindutva fascists.
Orange bomber jacket
For me, the bare minimum is that they don’t believe it is okay to hit children.
A fellow ML, obviously, preferably a fellow Chinese one (I am very cultural. In the past few weeks I have read nothing except works of Lao She and histories of Beiyang Warlords). This might sound kind of weird, but I’d also like to have someone who would want to be taken care of (this is probably because pretty much everybody is my superior irl). As for preferences in entertainment, food and stuff, I don’t feel like that would really affect my decision, although I do want children.
edit: this is assuming I do eventually find a partner, which currently looks like a pretty bleak prospect.
