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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/Consistent-Spite-851 on 2024-11-06 15:28:37+00:00.

I apologise for the negative vent, but I need to voice it out somewhere.

I’ve been on and am on T, I’ve had top surgery, I’ve had phallo. At this point, I’m not sure what to do. Therapy seems like the only option.

I don’t see my chest as male. I don’t see my penis as male. I don’t see myself as male, either. I’ve been hoping to have a good sex life post phallo, only to be met with insecurity because it’s a “fake flesh penis that nobody would be attracted to”, even though I would never think of another trans person who’s gotten phallo’s penis of anything else but a penis, or of their top surgery as “you still used to have boobs though”. I see them as men, so why can’t I see myself as a man? I guess my height and weight play into this, as I’m 5’6 and 100 pounds, and I can’t gain weight at all.

Will this ever end? Will I actually see myself as male, and everything about myself as male? Do I just need more time, or therapy? Women don’t have a flat chest (usually). Women don’t have a penis nor balls, even if surgically constructed. Nothing about me is womanly. At this point, I could even say my sex is male, considering I have no uterus, no vagina, and instead have male anatomy. Yet I don’t see it that way.

Has anyone felt the same way about their dysphoria? That nothing will truly help, even if it might make it slightly better?