• Mister Neon@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I’m almost 40. I barely leave my house and can go a week without going further than my porch. Less than a dozen people have seen my face in the last month. Weekends and holidays are becoming mountains of isolation I have to cross without the distraction of work. I don’t have people I can have heart to heart conversations with. All my experiences with professional psychology have been horrid and expensive. I can feel myself becoming socially maladjusted and mentally crazed. Drinking also effects my cholesterol levels so I had to cut that out, so no social outlets via bars, taverns, etc.

    The saddest thing is that this is the most prosperous I’ve ever been in my life and I primarily attribute my minimal contact with other people for that.

    • Mossy Feathers (She/They)@pawb.social
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      13 hours ago

      Look up furry groups around you. Start at the closest major city and work up. No, you don’t have to be a furry to go to one. The reason why I’m suggesting it is because furries are some of the most welcoming and accepting people you’ll ever meet (I’m totally not biased tho). Chances are they’ll be some of the best friends you’ve ever had; so long as you’re as accepting as them. They also tend to have a wide array of interests, with tech and tech accessories being one of the most common.

      Edit: There are furry groups for car enthusiasts, arcades, rock climbing, horror enthusiasts, roller skating, skateparks, six flags and other stuff, all in my area. So, no, you kinda don’t need to be a furry because the meetups range from furry specific to more general interests.

      • phughes@lemmy.ca
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        13 hours ago

        I have to say that, in spite of surely well earned the reputation furries have for being nice people, that is one of the weirdest suggestions I’ve ever heard.

        Substitute furries for any other sexual endeavor.

        Look up BDSM groups around you. No, you don’t have to be a dom/sub to go to one.

        Look up gender transition groups around you. No, you don’t have to be trans to go to one.

        YES, YOU FUCKING DO!

        • stardom8048@lemmy.world
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          13 hours ago

          I’ll be the first to say it’s not an inherently sexual thing, but I agree it’s a weird suggestion.

          Going to any interest group meeting when you aren’t actually interested in the topic is kind of weird.

          • Mossy Feathers (She/They)@pawb.social
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            13 hours ago

            Only like, 4~5 of the meetups out of like, 28 of the furry ones in my area are actually furry-specific. Most are general activities like rock climbing, going to an arcade, going roller skating, etc.

            They’re just run by furries, but I’d be willing to bet there are people in those groups who aren’t.

            Edit: I do agree that it sounds weird at first glance; however I’d highly suggest trying it anyway.

        • Mossy Feathers (She/They)@pawb.social
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          13 hours ago

          There are furry groups for car enthusiasts, arcades, rock climbing, horror enthusiasts, roller skating, skateparks, six flags and other stuff, all in my area. So, no, you kinda don’t need to be a furry because the meetups range from furry specific to more general interests.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Play team videogames.

      Doesn’t matter if you suck, pick any and get a mic. Dont play to win, play to be helpful to your team.

      There’s gonna be some toxicity, but there’s a very good chance that even with minimal communication back your brain is going to recognize that you are working with other humans to accomplish a goal.

      Brains are dumb, trick it into thinking you’re out hunting a mastodon with tribe while you’re just chilling on the couch and it’ll calm down.

      Plus videogames are pretty fun. And the kids on there could use good role models, just be a decent human.

      • Mister Neon@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I understand why you’re making this suggestion and appreciate the sentiment. Unfortunately I don’t register online interactions as full social interactions like some other people. It’s why I found social media platforms based on real world identities obtuse and vapid. I really need a place I can goto that doesn’t cost money, people know who I am, those people are happy I’m around, I’m happy they’re around, and I’m comfortable there. Unfortunately what I described is “a place I belong to” and I’m not going to get that in America.

        • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          You still might be able to.

          DnD is basically free and always desperate for players and have game meetups in all types of places

          If you’re less nerdy and more active then you’re right at the cusp of 40+ rec leagues. Aka “beer league” sports.

          Hell, I have a buddy that joined a bowling team despite not knowing how to bowl and immediately went to a tourney in Vegas.

          But you just said this:

          the most prosperous I’ve ever been in my life

          Right before:

          place I can goto that doesn’t cost money

          So I’m a little confused why you can’t spare any money to fufil a basic human need that you’re saying is unfulfilled and causing you issues.

          Best of luck though, and I do legitimately wish I could have been more helpful

          • Mister Neon@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            It’s not about a lack of funds per se. I find spending money undermines any legitimacy for an activity, “best things in life are free”. Might be the same reason I don’t like amusement parks. This might be a psychological hold over from years living in poverty.

            • Pandemanium@lemm.ee
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              17 hours ago

              Find a hiking group or partner then. It’s free, you’ll get a little exercise, and it doesn’t have to be much of a commitment.

            • Fades@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              ANY amount of money undermines ANY legitimacy of ANY activity? That is just absurd, even aside from being an absolute statement.

              Get the fuck out of here lol, just say you don’t want to try and would rather the solution simply fall into your lap for free so we can avoid wasting time responding to you

              Money doesn’t make an activity good but it also doesn’t make the activity inherently bad or not worth it. There are an insane amount of things that have some cost associated, they’re all illegitimate options for an activity?

              • Mister Neon@lemmy.world
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                1 day ago

                The sentiment is absurd and we live in an absurd world. Conformity is not mortality, just because something is foundational to civilization doesn’t make it benign. This isn’t a philosophy or a statement of fact just my personal feelings. I find money to be crass and dirty. Money seems to be caustic to the human experience and humanity existed hundreds of thousands of years before we invited it (thus not intrinsic to our nature). It’s an invention that instead of serving humanity has instead enthralled countless of our ape like brains.

                If you’re able to purchase a good or acquire a service that makes you happy without these thoughts invading your decision then I’m jealous. That’s an ability I lost a long time ago.

                • phughes@lemmy.ca
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                  13 hours ago

                  My dude. Things cost money. That’s a basic fact of life. A rec league needs to rent space to play in. You need gear to play. If those facts taint the activity for you I’m not sure how you can even handle the horrific crassness of paying for a place to live. You should probably live in a hovel the woods. One that you didn’t pay for.