I, like many gamers, grew up playing PokƩmon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.
Fast forward a few years and I hadnāt really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.
During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because Iād never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizonā¦a bunch of games I had never played before.
Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPSās seemed boring, online games couldnāt keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually Iād just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasnāt even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinatingāwhich sucks.
Iāve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. Iām now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)
I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Nowā¦I feel like I canāt even consider myself a gamer.
So. Thatās a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?
I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.
Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game? I find I get fatigued by how long some games can go on for whether itās multiplayer like The Elder Scrolls Online or a sandbox game like Red Dead Redemption.
Maybe you could try something like GRIS? Itās a relaxing game with a neat art style that that only takes about 3 hours to beat.
I mentioned Gris in my comment too! Iām in love with that game and second your recommendation.
Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game?
this is my trick as well. I use an app called Depressurizer to sort my steam library by both review score and length simultaneously and grab one of the higher rated <8 hour games I havenāt played yet, then when I finish it, I find that my slump typically ends and I can pick up a longer game again.
Worth mentioning these days I play precisely zero multiplayer games (because iāve got a toddler so i need to be able to pause whatever Iām playing)
I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you donāt have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that wonāt work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV
Yeah, definitely the best way to get back that GBA/NDS feeling.
Try some chill single player games, ones that focus on a great story with no real difficulty. That helped a lot for me when I had a similar feeling.
Firewatch, the Life us Strange games, Road 96, Unravel, Superliminal to name a few.
I would add Far: Lone Sails to this!
Contrary opinion - itās OK to give up hobbies you donāt enjoy any more.
Gaming was an important part of your life at one point. You remember it fondly because currently you are lacking something in your life, so youāre thinking - I used to enjoy gaming so I should enjoy it again.
Doesnāt work like that - people go through phases. Find what you enjoy now. Yes, maybe itās gaming again. Maybe its something else - hiking, fixing motorcycles, partying ā¦ who knows. Experiment with activities until you find something that will make you burn again!
I agree with this, itās ok to find something new. Maybe youāll come back to gaming after a while.
Have you played Outer Wilds by chance? I agree with many that itās probably one of the best games ever made, and I canāt think of any game that better encapsulates what games should be capable of. It captures the magical potential of exploration and discovery like nothing else Iāve ever played. So many cool ideas waiting for you to figure out, and the process is just so fun.
Along those lines, Iāve just been growing fonder of smaller, indie-style games, which had never been my preference before now. Games like Gris, Little Nightmares, Hades (if you consider that āsmallerā), Deliver Us the Moon have left a really positive impression. Many of them are imperfect, but I feel like thereās a lot of love tangible in those experiences. Maybe Iām just imagining that, but they lack the bloat that has disillusioned me with a lot of the bigger games lately, and they feel more purposeful in general.
If you havenāt, look through some lists of best indie games and see if anything jumps out at ya.
There are moments in Outer Wilds that left me grinning like a child. It hits at that same time of wonder I felt playing ocarina of time when I was very young
My girlfriend got me to play Outer Wilds and the first thing I did was try to fly into the sun and she was just staring at me like āwhy are you like thisā while I was grinning like mad.
Exactly! There were other times that I donāt want to mention here cause I donāt know how to hide spoilers, where my fully adult mind too was thrilled by some of the revelations.
If youāre depressed, sometimes you lose interest in your hobbies. You might want to look into seeing someone.
I will say, you seem a bit worried about no longer considering yourself a gamer, like this burnout has led to a crisis of identity. You are MORE than your hobbies. Gamer is a temporary state based on what you are doing. It is okay not to be one. Youāre still you.
Thank you for this comment. I am working on myself and trying to see what I can do to help me get through this depression Iāve been experiencing.
I appreciate you reminding me that I am not defined by just my hobbies (or my work, or my failures, or whatever). I am me, and that is perfectly alright.
I just homebrewed my Wii and have been having a blast playing GameCube and Wii games I never had but always wanted to try.
Naruto Clash of Ninja 4 for example is a PHENOMENAL game that I had never even heard of before two days ago
Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isnāt just how often you choose to play - itās also how much youāre expected to play.
Iām going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.
Personal moderation:
Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But itās not in a lasting way, theyāre just more attainable.
Itās like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. Itās easier, itās pleasant, and thereās nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if itās the only thing Iām doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally āsickā (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.
This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They donāt play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.
Gameplay moderation:
Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.
But now, you canāt. Youāre an adult, you donāt have that time. And yet games arenāt being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)
You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, thereās no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games donāt feel as engaging.
That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; itās why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.
Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?
If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.
Youāll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. Theyāre also cheap enough that itās worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.
If somebody says a game is āonly 6 hours of gameplayā, see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.
I have a very similar relationship with gaming. A similar break for college and a similar resurgence with BotW followed by a similar falling out because of kids haha.
Iāll be honest, it doesnāt feel the same anymore. I donāt think it ever wil again. But Iāll share the things that have come close to getting that feeling back.
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Online game night with friends - this puts me mentally back in the 90ās staying up late and gaming with friends. Itās more about the company and conversations than the game itself. I try to do this at least once a week.
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Gaming with my son - heās 6 and weāve been able to find a ton of games we love playing together, most notably Nintendo games. He loves all things Mario. We also run through games like Hot Wheels Unleashed, Luigiās Mansion 3, Lego 2K Drive. Anything with a kid friendly co-op campaign has been fun.
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Allowing yourself to mentally move on from games once youāre not having fun - I used to have this issue with a mental backlog or feel badly for buying a game and then not beating it. Not sure if you have the same issue. But lately Iāve tried not to put too much pressure on myself to beat a game. If Iām not having fun I move on. Life is too short and game time is too precious to waste it on a game Iām not loving.
Hope this helps. Like I said, I donāt think itāll ever feel the same, but this has helped it come close for me.
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I wouldnāt recommend this with the sole reason being to get back into gaming. I started taking THC gummies and it is like being a kid again playing video games.
If weed didnāt give me anxiety I would only play high. I remember having a blast everytime I played before quitting, especially with games like BOTW or Yakuza where, despite being very different games, you get to really immerse in the world ā which is something that I donāt usually do or look for in games, but I will never forget how emotional I got while playing BOTW and I noticed how different the twin mountains (or whatever theyāre called in English) were if you traveled from above or below.
I feel you man. Are you sure youāre nostalgic about gaming itself and not about a time when you were carefree? Maybe you just need to find back your balance. Iām an anxious person and the worst episode Iāve had lasted roughly a year. Sick leave and everything. No interest for gaming even longer than that. Worked on myself, picked up the pieces and the will to game came back slowly but surely. What Iām saying is maybe you need some healing before the next adventure?
FPSās seemed boring, online games couldnāt keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually Iād just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone.
My partner does this.
One, you might have ADHD. I canāt say, but you could look into it.
Secondly, you need to have some time to let your brain rest. When you bounce between tasks like that, youāre never actually not doing something. People think of doomscrolling as taking a break, but really youāre replacing your intended task with another task and there isnāt a time where you do no task.
Definitely need to figure out if it is ADHD, depression, or a combinationā¦
On your second point: I also need to work on this. I find myself constantly ādoing somethingā. Iām listening to music while typing this; when I walk the dog, Iām listening to an audiobook or podcast. Same when Iām doing dishes or other chores. I rarely have āchill timeā - or give myself that.
The Forgotten City is the one that restored my hope in gaming.
Feeling the same, even tho my life hasnāt been nearly as stressful as yours. Games, especially new single player games with thousands of hours of content just arenāt fun for me anymore, even tho I loved Skyrim, Fallout, Dragon Age and Witcher. But I still find a lot of fun playing games with friends.
Especially DayZ. Itās like, really just taking a long walk with friends in the forest, because thatās what the game is lol. Strolling arounds in Cherno, sitting together at the campfire and talking about our days, sometimes meeting with strangers and sharing that experience (or getting into a stressful firefight š ). These are really the best experiences I had with gaming to this day.
Just downloaded DayZ on Game Pass! Iām going to check it out based on your experience you shared. Thank you!
@Evolone I went back to a #WoW 3.3.5a private server I used to play on when I was young and couldnāt afford the monthly fee. The community over there is super laid back because everyone knows there will never be new content. Iām really enjoying my time there, despite only having a few hours per week to spare.
So, go back to your roots. Play a game you used to play a lot.