My parents have been giving a lot of mixed signals so indon’t know if I can come out or not.

On one hand they don’t talk shit and don’t get pissy about pride flags and stuff and actually seem supportive. On the other they are extremely religious. To the point where they get pissed when I don’t want to go to church. Wish I had a clear answer. Extended family is even worse. Everyone is extremely

I don’t even know why I bother. Everything has been crashing down recently. My family is probably unaccepting. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend left me. Don’t know why I keep going. I’m just sick and tired

  • Azure@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I am sorry you are struggling with this. There’s nothing wrong with keeping yourself safe by not coming out, but that doesn’t do anything for the feeling of being trapped.

    I’m not you, but i hope that you’re able to find some space where you are able to be yourself, perhaps a friend group or an online support group?

    Being alone and feeling abandoned by a partner is such a terrible feeling. Perhaps, since it all feels spiralling anyway, asking him bluntly for clarification, if you think he’s gone it’ll at least give you answers maybe?

    There’s not a magical set of words that will work for you, so throw away anything i have said that doesn’t work. Most of all i wanted you to know people saw you and care you are in pain, even if they are just text on a screen. 💙

    • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I dont know what happened to me. At first he just started texting less and then he just sent these 3 texts

      . “I almost got or kidnapped idk sorry” "I don’t feel too well " I don’t want to do this anymore’

      He was pretty depressed and I don’t know what happened. Idk if he just left or if he got hurt. He was everything to me. Its been a month now. I’ve been begging for answers. I’m worried he might have killed himself. Only reason I haven’t killed myself is the hope that he would return. Now I’m not so sure. He was everything to me

      • Azure@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        That’s really hard, especially when it sounds like he was a lot of your life focus. I would be as worried as you, it sounds like you arent able to get any answers at the moment.

        To protect yourself, could he have ghosted you in this way to make it easier on himself? Had he ever been conflict avoidant? It’s shitty, but i hear a lot of younger people, without respect to the pain they are causing, flaking out in such a manner.

        It may be important that you see if you can find some friends, someone to support you but who you’re not so dependent on. It’s a horrible feeling to have our stability dependent on someone else when sadly humans can be such flawed and weak creatures.

        It’s so important you find something inside yourself for you. I have been depressed a long time, (not nearly been put in the situation you have been with a partner) and for me i settled on a weird philosophy that i didn’t choose my birth, but (i am not religious or spiritual) if i go too soon, ill never have a chance to know or experience anything when i die. For me ive settled on leaving when it happens, and trying to get through each day one day at a time.

        It’s unlikely that’ll work for you, too, cause it’s such a personal thing to figure out. Im guessing your parents wouldn’t get you a therapist just for you to talk shit out?