In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don’t know what I’ve been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don’t like the way the things are and I can’t do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually “pace up” with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn’t expect so many replies! Thanks, I’ll look into them all
Now it’s my turn to tell you basically what a lot of people here have already said, but maybe you can get something extra out of this telling.
Everyone who was mega-successful, in old age or young, has had a huge advantage somewhere that people rarely talk about. There are no exceptions to this, only cases where those advantages are lost to time or secrecy. And nearly every time, family wealth is involved in some way. Usually directly, but even if they never got a penny, being in a wealthy family brings you so many casual advantages.
You’re comparing yourself to people who were dealt winning hands from the start. Like, a kid who gets a patent at a young age? Someone was coaching them, possibly someone with an agenda. Invents a new plastic? Uh-huh, at what age did they get into polymer chemistry? Who even told them polymer chemistry even existed? There’s something else going on there. Don’t let the media gaslight you into thinking you’re “behind.”
It’s okay to be you! It’s not a race, and even if it was, the people you’re comparing yourself to had a gigantic head start.
I don’t disagree with portions of your sentiment, but your declaration that LITERALLY EVERYONE who accomplishes ANYTHING was only able to do so because of an unfair advantage… that’s just wildly ignorant.
This specific example jumped out at me…
So, you believe that simply learning about a specific scientific discipline is somehow getting an unfair advantage?
The reason why your example jumped out at me is because 30something years ago, when I was in like, grade 2 or 3, we had a special lecture in science class from a local kid who discovered a some kind of new polymer that would be used in underground cable and pipe laying because it would allow tree and plant roots to grow through them without the entire structure failing catastrophically. This kid was the older brother of one of my classmates. They were a typical blue collar family, but they were more known as a family of jocks due to their taller stature. This kid was the outlier in his family. They didn’t have any kind of wealth or family connections. He was just a smart kid who got into chemistry and managed to get onto a good college program that led him to his breakthrough moment.
Maybe? We’re fighting anecdotes with anecdotes here, there is no way I can examine your statement when it’s entirely a friend-of-a-friend memory. I take issue with your “wildly ignorant” statement (of course), and stand by my point. And it’s not learning about a discipline, it’s the opportunity to learn about it.
Just ignore these people if you can. There’s a major push on at present, all over the internet this exact argument is being made again and again.
There’s no such thing as merit or hard work. Everything is systemic racism and class privilege. Nothing is earned, everything is given - unless you happen to be BIPOC, in which case you are the master of your own universe and a humble genius just waiting for your chance to shine.
It’s intentional racism to try and even the playing field after centuries of genuine systemic racism, but it isn’t organic and it isn’t right. Don’t let them take up too much headspace.
They had resources, usually from high school, or yes their family led them a bit as well. But the thing is I could have the same resources as well, if I didn’t sleep around while choosing my high school. Or even then, I could just go ask around, I’d definitely get something if I woke up and asked everyone around “I want to invent something”. Ask on internet literally. I didn’t.
It’s not “media” in the conventional sense. I just casually asked someone from a good high school what do best students look like.
Comparing yourself to others people’s accomplishments is never going to end well. It’s completely natural for us to do, but if it’s not done to achieve inspiration, then it’s almost always a negative thought process.
At the end of the day the people you describe are no better than you, their accomplishments don’t make them better people. Their accomplishments only have value if you chose to give them that, and in the same token value can be given to things in your life that you might not necessarily deem worthy enough it be an ‘accomplishment’.
If you keep this mindset you’ll soon find yourself downplaying your own actual accomplishments. I.e., “Yeah, I got a good grade in that class but only because X.” “Yeah, I have a nice job lined up, but only because Y.” It’s a toxic mindset to have.