I tried coming out at 18. It didn’t go so well. I told my best friend… who then never spoke to me again. It was embarrassing, we were doing the same training scheme and would bump into each other. He completely ignored me.
I was glad when that year was over, I went off to university and never saw him again. I do wonder about him sometimes, and did a little digging. He appears to have completely vanished.
After that, in my first year at uni I had an awful experience and nailed the closet door shut until I was 26.
I had a seizure that was… misunderstood by the people I was with and my own escape was to clam up completely about it for some years.
I did eventually talk to a therapist who gave me a good explanation, it just took some time.
I’m not Out out, I don’t hide that I’m asexual and will tell people if they ask but it has rarely come up. Some people at work know, and other than dumb questions and one guy who keeps outing me as ace to people it went fine. My gender on the other hand I’m not really settled on so I’m not really out to anyone other than my closest friends and partner as agender
I’m “out” in that I’m married and will tell people I have a husband, but I’m also not “out out” in that I don’t straight up tell people I’m gay unless they ask. My policy has always been that if people really want to know, they can ask. I don’t see a need to go around shouting from the rooftops, I mean straight people don’t do that, do they (usually)?