I’ve actually been wondering about this for a while. Realised this is a really good place to ask!

So when you’re dating someone in Malaysia. How often do you like to check in with your partner? How much is too much or too little?

I’m a pretty independent nyet so once every couple days feels about right for me. And maybe share some funny link if it pops up. Any more and I start feeling this slightly smothering obligation hanging in the air. But I’ve heard a pretty wide range on what people think is normal / makes them insecure. Like some couples wish each other good morning and good night every single day kinda thing. (But also some couples wear 100% matching outfits when they go out. Pls just let me die instead)

  • dukeGR4@monyet.cc
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    1 year ago

    i am someone that demands a fair bit of personal and emotional space but even then I say good morning/night every single day to my partner. I only found out through this thread that people don’t do it and find it cringe and burdensome? never felt like a chore for me personally.

    i also personally think “checking in” with your partner every couple days is too little, I might as well not be in a relationship… at one point you would be settling down with them and will have to tolerate their physical presence in your own space, ie. intimacy no? unless people don’t want a long term relationship? in that case i’m certain there’s more casual arrangement…? but with this kind of arrangement checking in is not needed methinks?

    obviously go with your own flow, different people have different appetite and willingness when it comes to contacts, but i personally consider it as “wireless quality time”. The fact that we live apart, and only see each other 2-3 times per week, i deffo don’t mind spending less than a dozen minutes out of my day to text the other half. Sometimes it is the only “escape” i have from all the BS everyday life throw at me and for me that’s a peace of mind that i would rather sacrifice a dozen minutes of my time per day for

    • dcx@monyet.ccOP
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      1 year ago

      Hmmm. After bouncing this around in this post, I’ve concluded that I don’t mind pings throughout the day actually. It’s more about the expectation of being responsive at specific times every day, and always having to check my phone. I’d be totes okay with messaging if they were okay with me going dead for blocks of hours or a day or two here and there.