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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/ObjectiveCattle422 on 2023-10-07 06:19:55.

TW: SA Hi, I have been having a hard time knowing which subreddit to post on but here it goes. When I (24F) was 20, my friend (22F)and I went to meet up with some of her friends at their place. Everything was fine- we got there ahead of those friends and waited but when they showed up, another person (we will call him J (28-30M at the time arrived and we were taken aback because we didn’t know other people would be there. I was pretty shy and kept to myself and my friend but other than that the day went pretty smoothly. We were all drinking, having fun, boating etc. It started to get late and went back to the house. We hung around and eventually we ended up in the hot tub after a while, I decided that was enough for me and that I was heading to bed we didn’t want to drive back home seeing as we were not in the position to). Long story short, J followed me into the room I was in and sa’d me- multiple times (please don’t come for me about my choices- i have already berated myself and tried to rationalize/give him grace). The morning after, I tried to tell my friend and she brushed it off and so I decided I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it and wanted to try to keep living as if nothing happened. That was until a month or two later, I was violently ill and dropping weight almost dangerously so my coach and my friend had me see the doctor. Surprise, was pregnant. I had just reached the point where I was beginning to have my life feel like mine and after that night everything changed.

I will spare you the dramatics of everything that happened after but to answer the big questions. Yes, I told him. Yes, I kept the baby. I also ended up reporting him- the officer contacted him and he said he thought it was a “romantic” evening and of course his friends backed him up. They dismissed my case saying that I didn’t have enough evidence (“people have babies all the time”) and that it was his word against mine. I often wonder if I should have spared myself the humiliation knowing that as a bw making this report against a wm in a small town, I was already fighting a losing battle. At first he asked me to get an abortion stating that he had a girlfriend that he loved very much and wanted to marry but that she wouldn’t marry him if she found out. I explained that because of my religion and my family threatening to ostracize me, I couldn’t. He then wanted to coparent. I let him know that I do not feel safe around him and would not allow someone like him around my child but he fought me on it until I made the report and he stopped. I have done everything I can to support myself and my child as well as protect us from him but it is not enough so wibta if I requested child support. To explain why I feel like idta: I don’t want to seem bitter that my life has changed astronomically and I have had to adjust while he gets to continue living as if nothing happened so I want to make him pay; literally. I am also very worried that by making this request, he would have access to us or could try to. I have worked very hard to keep us safe and keep him away these past few years and above all I don’t want to jeopardize that. WIBTA?