Image of a screenshot of Twitter of a screenshot of Facebook.
The Facebook screenshot reads:
Fun fact about me: When I’m having a conversation with you, I will periodically bring up personal experiences from my own life, interspersed withing your own stories that you’re telling me. I’m not doing this to try and make the conversation about me, or to take away from your own experience. Actually, what I’m attempting to do, is to try and show you that I do, in fact, understand what you’re trying to tell me, and that I am giving your story my full attention.
It can really be off-putting to some people, so if I’ve ever done this to you during a conversation, I just wanted to make sure you know that I wasn’t trying to take over your story, I was just doing my best to connect with you in the moment.
The screenshot of Twitter reads:
This. I am fully aware that I do this. And I feel so guilty every time, but this. Understand this.
Show her this meme and explain that you’re doing it to show that you understand and emphasis with what she is saying.
Communication is key in a healthy relationship.
People always tell me this and honestly I’m tired of trying. She’s not the communication type, so my attempts go nowhere.
I’ve shown her similar memes in the past (especially ADHD memes) but she never understands them and I’m left frustrated. She still thinks the “odd” things I do are done simply to annoy her. I’m convinced that neurodivergence is just one of those things that you can never understand nor relate to unless you have it.
I don’t mean to be a downer here but… It sounds like she’s just not right for you. To me it sounds like you’ve made efforts to try to improve and she hasn’t. It takes two people working on a relationship to make it last.
While yes, communication is one key in a healthy and lasting relationship, the other key is mutual respect. Yes, you have to talk to each other, but just as important is having the respect to try and understand the other person’s side and find a mutually acceptable resolution. It sounds like she doesn’t respect you much, to me.
Granted, this isn’t my relationship, and I’m sure I’m only seeing one negative aspect instead of the full picture, so don’t take my words as definitive. But, I stand by this: if you don’t feel respected, the relationship either isn’t going to last, or it will and you will be miserable.
Unless every person who works with significantly neurodivergent people who can’t live without assistance is also neurodivergent, I doubt this. And I doubt that they’re all neurodivergent. I also doubt it’s a hiring trait companies that provide such assistance consider.
And, of course, plenty of neurotypical parents have neurodivergent children and raise them to be successful adults in a loving home that accepts their quirks.
Ouch
Dude, that’s not great. You just inherently think differently. She’s expecting you to do all the work for what reason? Because she’s used to not having to reach across to communicate and you are?
Neurodivergence is part of you. Neither of you can change that. It sounds like y’all need some serious sit down of “how do you think this all plays out”