• Telorand@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ve watched my friends who were functionally separated from their partners but still live together slide into deep depression, drug abuse, alcoholism. I lived with my ex wife for a while after we separated and it was extremely confusing and traumatic… I’ve known a lot of people in a lot of situations and these separated but living together arrangements are just awful for everyone involved.

    Translation: “I have anecdotal stories that confirm my bias.”

    This is not how you assess reality. Following the data is. Domestic abuse and substance abuse (24% and 34%, respectively) are much lower on the scale of reasons people divorce.

    Prove that couples are staying together because of housing prices and that this is something universally bad. Are some divorced couples living together? Yes. Is it at least sometimes because of housing prices? Possibly. It’s this second one that is the correlation, because there may be other factors that go into that decision. It may even be strongly correlated, but I doubt it is the sole cause of it.

    Life is complicated and everyone is different but i would never advise someone stay living with their ex.

    Neither would I. That has nothing to do with what this article is ostensibly talking about, and it has nothing to do with why people are deciding to live together after divorce.

    Regardless of what people say or think, a very small percentage of couples would be okay with an arrangement like this.

    You may be right, but citation needed. I’m not going to base my assessment of reality on your assertion that it’s true.

    If you or anyone ever find yourself in a similar situation, get out of the house and sign the friggin papers ASAP.

    Agreed. If you are in a situation of abuse, you don’t deserve it, get away from them, and figure it out afterwards. There’s resources to help in between.

    Don’t do apologism for a broken ass system, help us fix it, or at least show some humanity (“correlative,” jfc.)

    Housing prices are fucked up, people are in terrible relationships, but let’s not give into pseudoscience to fix it. That’s a good way to “fix” a problem that doesn’t exist and to miss the one you actually need to address.

    From your tone, it sounds like you are an abuse survivor. So am I. That doesn’t mean we need to lash out and presume divorce = abuse.

    • Juice [none/use name]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      This is a discussion about an article, which is chock full of examples. What kind of evidence do you need? You don’t need to be convinced, but you also don’t need to jump to the defense of inflating housing and rent costs.

      You also don’t cite any resources to back up your claims, Translation anecdotal evidence is still evidence, especially when compared to your baseless skepticism. Have you ever wondered why such research might not exist, or that not everyone has access to most academic research? Why might researchers who depend on grants to do research, avoid doing research that implicates commercial and real estate developers? large colleges and hospitals often work hand-in-glove with developers, along with city councils. Turns out you don’t always need evidence to infer a truth, we have this thing called abstraction that allows us to make predictions based on analytical methodology. Imagine if physicists required evidence with which to even begin a line of inquiry, we wouldn’t have 1/10 of the knowledge we have now.

      However, skepticism isn’t critique. You can be as skeptical as you want, and I have a right to disagree with you even without evidence. I can find a mountain of evidence that supports just about any claim I might make. Its called an epistemological crisis, and it’s fairly basic as far as logical contradictions go. Asking for evidence can be just as fallacious especially when it doesn’t deal with anything in the article.

      From your tone it sounds like you are insecure (or a landlord/real estate goon), Instead of trying to compete intellectually with strangers on the internet, show some humanity and solidarity with the vast majority of people who are stuck in awful situations, such as the ones described in the article.

      I’m sorry to hear about your experience with abuse. I’ve experienced abuse and trauma, and some of the worst trauma came from the systems of punishment and neglect that “impartially” decide who in society receives the pain and privilege of living in it. So the tone you are picking up is related to the fact that you are defending an abusive system, for which the evidence is undeniable.