• 10 Posts
  • 27 Comments
Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: September 24th, 2023

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  • Regardless of my own stance on these things, just happy that you intend to have the community talk about ways to change stuff. I’d browse different subreddits and found way more “X sucks, here is my emotional vent about it” than “X sucks, here are some steps I took to make it suck less or affect my life less, even if they were tiny steps to combat a massive complex problem”. Was particularly frustrating when I was searching for a solution for a problem that applied to me, even making a post about it, and I got a ton of “I have been there too, you are not alone” but no actual actionable advice. Solidarity and empathizing helps but sometimes you just want practical advice, and given just how many spaces will give you a place to vent, it would be nice to have a place free of it that sticks more to how to fix it.

    I recognize the irony of me just blathering about my feelings here, talking about how you are doing the opposite of the thing that sometimes upsets me.



  • For some people, watching something they hate fail is pleasurable, even if they understand it’s not a person who will feel shamed by their eyes and instead a corporation that is much more likely than a human to benefit from the negative attention. Getting that schadenfreude rates a little higher for some individuals than what they perceive as contributing just a tiny little bit to it by giving it attention. And sometimes, negative attention isn’t always going to benefit a company.








  • I also have ADHD.

    When you first download Obsidian, they put you in the Obsidian Sandbox vault which is full of “how to use Obsidian” tutorials and is made for you to play around and experiment with. Read as much of it as you think is relevant to you. You can always go back to their tutorials to learn more when you need it. I find the official tutorials good enough to not need to look elsewhere for the basics on “how to use Obsidian”. It’s cool to read elsewhere for different ways to organize, but I know that I’ll end up suffering from organizational/decision paralysis so it’s better for me to just go and write. Organize later. Yes, not the best for “staying organized” but at least I’ll be writing important stuff down in an area I can use a search function on which is better than nothing at all.

    Part of how I stay organized is that everything has a designated place and must always be put there when not in use. This extends to information. “Where did I put my tax returns?” “Well, you always write information of that nature down in Obsidian, use the search tool in Obsidian and search for ‘taxes’ to find the answer.”

    My actual Obsidian files are not the prettiest or the most well organized, but I do manage to actually keep all information of a particular nature contained within. This helps a lot.


    A few other ADHD tips:

    When I put any of my physical belongings down and I don’t have a particular place they go in (so this happens less at home, but in the museum I visited for the first time and do not expect to be a regular at? I am definitely not going to have a designated spot for each item the way I do at home), they need to be physically near each other. This has cut down so much on umbrella loss for me.

    Also, I am personally an Apple Reminders person. Every time I think of something that must be acted on at a particular date or time that I might forget, I put it in Reminders for that day and/or time, which is set up to send me notifications. For example, I sing in a choir and I usually do not take my music folder home after I finish rehearsal. If I decide I want to take the folder home, there is a good chance I’ll forget to do that, so I set a reminder to go off at 7:00PM, when rehearsal ends.

    So how does Obsidian play into remembering information if I already use Apple Reminders? I use Obsidian for information I’ll probably forget that doesn’t have a particular date/time associated with it (like recipes I particularly liked that I don’t want to forget, or the difference between three musical terms that I always forget the difference between).


  • I was always annoyed by the “LMAO everyone pathetic nerd stereotype” thing they did on Reddit, only partially because it assumed everyone was a man desperate for sex from a woman. Is this comment an attempt at a joke or a genuine assessment?

    I may be a nerd and it is probably fair to say most Fediverse users are. But I’m not a basement-dweller stereotype and I’m not sure where that comes from aside from the tired old Reddit joke about all its users being that exact stereotype.

    Also, again, network effects. Go where advice exists on a nice wiki, not where it’s a new community and maybe 1 person will answer your comment if you are lucky—a lot of people just want an answer and don’t want to deal with the nonresponse and tumbleweeds from a totally new community. It is emotionally easier to toss a post about gaming into the void than it is to approach with an actual problem you have in a relationship or with your finances you need help with, then to check in daily in hope someone answered only to get crickets back, and then repost in another community (or even another site, where you might have to rewrite that post so that you can’t just look it up and find out FediverseUser83 posted the same thing as RedditUser92 and is thus probably the same person’s two accounts). So these become “why waste the effort and time when you could just go to Reddit and get a quicker response?” to an even higher level than other communities—nonresponse probably hurts more.

    For relationship advice specifically, I recall that subreddit being called unrealistic so often that I understand why people might be wary to start a new one here.

    I’m actually pretty image-conscious and a lot of this manifests in putting effort into how I dress. I am also incredibly uncomfortable putting pictures of myself (yes, you can talk about fashion without selfies, but the typical “does this look good on me” post requires you post yourself. “Look at this outfit I put together” is easiest to do with your own human body, not searching online for images of each piece of clothing you put on and putting them in one image, especially because some older pieces may not have a perfectly matching online image) on social media like Reddit, let alone the Fediverse which duplicates your post to tons of servers who may or may not respect post deletions. I’d imagine this frustrates the growth of fashion, makeup, and hair communities.