I didn’t see any information on if male guests or children were allowed. I think having spaces where women feel safe is important, but I’d be interested to see how this is implemented. I’ve definitely been in places where there was a designated “don’t interact with guy from apartment X” welcome crew. It’d be nice to not have to worry about that so much.
It’s mostly a problem because some writers are just… bad. I’m reading romantasy, I expect some romance, I take issue when it’s written like not another teen movie and still takes itself seriously.
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone irl with any of the spider names I can remember. I’ve heard of people talk about a Bianca, but never met any. Fabian goes hard in my opinion though. Great name for just about anything lol.
Stanzi made this as a skit basically: https://youtube.com/shorts/9MdYx9vFnYU
I’m not gonna interact directly with their comment, but I think it’s worth mentioning that a lot of definitions include some reference to assuming she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. One definition is “the act of a man explaining something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, or oversimplified manner, often assuming she lacks knowledge about the topic”.
So the person above suggesting that he was never told who she was is not realizing that it’s still mansplaining even before he finds out. I’m not saying you should have to believe everything a woman says, but the fact he just assumed she was as ignorant as he was and didn’t stop to reflect on that, look into it, or at least ask a follow up question about her experience is part of the problem.
This article has a chart and you can see that if you’re not sure of a woman’s background it’s probably going to end up that you were mansplaining: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart
I agree that it’s mostly men doing it. I was more just looking to shoehorn in that book recommendation lol. I will say some female romantasy authors can kind of go the other way. It’s mostly a bad writer issue in both cases, and at least the female authors didn’t do it in a way that objectifies women for both a primarily male audience and the men in the story.
This kind of gets at the issues I see most bad female authors run into: https://youtu.be/ejklu1OvWFs
They’re different pitfalls, but I’m also a getting a little sick of them too.
It’s not untrue, though some also get things right. I can’t stop recommending children of time, and I love the way the author dealt with gender. It was a good read regardless, but imho he did a great job writing female characters.
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. I think I “talk like a woman” and in certain areas make a conscious effort not to. Women tend to use more qualifiers and are less definite in their statements. I will be 100% right and still say “I think” or “maybe”. It’s the whole confident women are bossy women thing. It’s not true at all, but there’s still so much of that mentality.
They were probably just trying to say something offensive, but if it means anything it’s likely just that you’re confident and knowledgeable, because thanks to misogyny that’s what we think men sound like and not what we think women sound like. Take it as a compliment if anything. It’s possible you were just being effortlessly correct lol. And obviously that’s what women sound like if you’re a woman and that’s what you sound like.
That just turns paid apps into splash screens for in-app purchases though. That way apple never gets a cut because the “purchase” is in-app. Pay to be listed (maybe tiered depending on downloads) seems fair especially because it doesn’t incentivize people to do scammy things with pricing. It’s already a fee anyway.
You might not have intended it but your other post feels like bait. Is this the first time this has ever happened to you? I step to the side a lot and am a woman. I have friends of all genders who do this. It’s imho a strange thing to post about in the first place and then you asked specifically for male feedback. You also mentioned your outfit and posted a picture of it. If you thought only men could offer insight and that what you looked like would be relevant then the conclusion about it being covid related seems at odds with that. It looks like some comments are just pointing that out. No one deserves hate or shade for posting what you posted though and I see someone had their comment removed and someone started bringing up transphobia. Im sorry to see that happened.
As an aside, I do think it’s fine if men want to give women additional space. Men don’t have to think of themselves as a threat in order to do that. When I’m walking dogs I will do the same thing. Not because I think the dog is potentially dangerous or anything. I just don’t know if that person wants to be close to a dog so I make a point of stepping aside. It’s courteous. Not everyone does it and it’s not mandatory but it’s fine if they do. I do it myself if it’s late sometimes and I’m passing a child or almost anyone who is smaller than me. I want them to know that I see them and am cognizant of their space.
I was about to post but then I read the comments and this is just exactly what I would’ve posted. I moved around a bit in STEM and this is my exact experience in any male dominated STEM field. Some STEM fields that are more 50/50 operate so well that it makes the tech portion stand out even more. I think part of it is that tech as we see it today is still relatively new and so fast paced that people don’t even know what makes a good employee much less manager.
90% of the men I worked with were fantastic and friendly but most of those 90% were unable or unwilling to step up when there were issues with the other 10%. I worked somewhere with almost daily harassment from a techbro guy and although others were willing to admit it was a problem behind closed doors it was all just blank stares from them when I said anything to him.
Elon Musk is my go to when I have to explain it. Basically no one that actually works in tech is like him but somehow he’s still at the top. He knows nothing about the day to day but does just enough to ruin things. People still work for him though and look the other way when he does terrible things because he is the boss. If guys like him didn’t exist tech would be a fine industry.
Thanks for sharing! I have some chips left over from another recipe and I’ve been thinking about what to do with them. Looking forward to trying this tonight!
This is a simple one that I still get a craving for every once in a while: https://www.everyplate.com/recipes/beef-shepherds-pie-62f1622f2c02226365032497
I try to minimize my consumption of red meat but you can adjust the proportion or replace it with meat substitutes and it’s still really good.
Would you be willing to share the recipe? I have made them a few times for holidays and I find that I just can’t compete with store bought. I like most my other pies more than store bought pies but apple is just so particular.
Women only spaces have been a popular and important part of feminist and women’s movement globally. It’s ok if it’s not right for you but it’s reductive to act like it serves no purpose. It’s important for marginalized communities to be able to gather and discuss their experiences.
I think it’s nice that the mod has given their time to fostering a community of women supporting women and it’s insulting for you to call it insane. It’s part of a long tradition of women carving out space for themselves. She’s not mandating you participate. Just politely asking people to follow the rules. It’s like calling it insane that a book club only allow people who have read the book to talk about it. Others can listen in and talk about it elsewhere if needed but book club is for people who read the book to discuss it with other people who also read it.
Just a basic overview if you’re honestly unfamiliar with the concept: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-only_space
I am OP. I said nothing about inclusive or exclusive spaces. The brackets in my title were added because it’s a community rule and I was understandably asked to add that.
What in the post suggests anything about inclusive or exclusive anything? I was noticing a pattern and sharing my annoyance at it. I also shared what I believe to be the cause of the pattern. I did not say it shouldn’t be allowed or that they were bad people. I also made it clear I didn’t believe it to be sexism and that the gender of the person I would originally be speaking to seemed largely irrelevant. Not sure how this would be interpreted as exclusionary.
You’re probably right. Plus I’m so confrontation averse I don’t think I would send it regardless.
Yes. I think remember one where people read a story and the name was changed and when it was a male name they gave positive words like leader and decisive and with a female name it was negative like pushy and demanding.
This isn’t exactly what I was talking about but came up immediately on a search: https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2014/12/10/study-finds-gender-perception-affects-evaluations
I’m glad they federated. I would not have found this community otherwise and Lemmy is so small I don’t think it’d make sense to make the community harder to find. I wonder if they can set up a flared users only situation. I’m not sure what things look like on the mod side of Lemmy though.
My thoughts exactly. Plus I think some women might be more comfortable at home, so not being able to invite a prospective partner over and being forced to engage in their house might make them more likely to capitulate to things they are not comfortable with instead of telling the person to leave. I know some women keep their address to themselves for quite a while though, so it really is person to person based on comfort.
I think options in general are good, and this may be a good fit for some people and not for others. I know people like DV victims need safe places, but I also worry that certain restrictions make resources more scarce. I doubt any of these will sit vacant, but everyone needs safe affordable housing, so the fact that this is closed off to so many people when there’s not enough to meet the current need is also something worth noting. I would have no reservations about it if there was an excess of safe affordable housing with none of these restrictions, so everyone living there was specifically choosing that option rather than potentially just taking what they have access to in the moment.