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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Probably exercise. Lifelong habit of exercise. Different sorts at different times but never nothing, always something on purpose to strengthen & keep flexible, most days of the week.

    Night cream and sunscreen since my early 20s too, I do not look how I expected to at this age, nice surprise that was.



  • I have a story about heat and flavor. Often the flavor and heat ARE intertwined, if you “cool” the pepper you mute the flavor.

    So I make lentil salad sometimes, it’s one of those dishes so much better than it should be - cooked al dente lentils, jalapeno, onion, carrot in a dressing of olive oil, mustard, lemon. My little kids loved it but would whine that it was too spicy. So my older daughter graciously de-seeded and took out the ribs of the jalapenos when helping make it one time and

    They whined because it didn’t taste as good. The flavor was contained in the spicier part of the pepper.

    Not everything should be spicy but it’s good to have a tolerance because some flavors are in those spicy foods that simply aren’t in the mild versions.



  • I don’t think of selective gene editing of one person as eugenics and do think we will get that, we have some versions of it for born people already. Editing it out of humanity? No that’s probably a bad idea. One of my kids works in genetics and was horrified when I joked about her making designer babies like in Gattaca, so I don’t think science thinks it a good idea. Push on one thing, another pops up.

    You might enjoy Octavia Butler’s Xenogenesis and Patternist books, if you like thinking about this stuff.


  • I’m a lady and haven’t had any trouble here. The only place I really notice how ridiculously male - skewed Lemmy is, is on the NSFW. That is definitely all “male gaze” stuff, with the occasional actual lesbian also posting stuff guys like. Even the posts OF men are FOR men, everything posted with some assumption only men are looking at the posts.

    The other communities just aren’t so gendered, I don’t notice much whether someone seems to be one or the other, it isn’t relevant to cocktails or cooking or gardening or science fiction.


  • Like Gattaca?

    I do not think people have enough information to even do a good job of it, we’d accidentally make everyone prone to some disease and wipe out humanity, we don’t have a great track record with selectively breeding plants and animals. So no.

    In the way it has been done ever in real life? Oh hell no. Some vague idea that certain people are worth more than others based only on their looks, and a push to make a better world by making them the only model for humanity?

    So no. I don’t trust people to use it for good, and if it was somehow used for good, would probably still have unintended disastrous consequences.







  • My mom and dad used to argue, or debate is probably a better word, about this.

    My dad’s family was pretty well off and one of his great aunts had been a lawyer, toward the turn of the century (1900-1920ish) and he thought women could do anything men could, that there were NO social restrictions or any real discrimination that you couldn’t address by simply pointing it out and doing what you want. That women were just sort of brainwashed to think there were outside-imposed limits, society was not a strong force compared to individual will.

    My mom’s family was poor, her grandma was a very accomplished farmer, midwife, had taken in men during the depression, put them to work on her farm, fed and housed them, but my mom’s mom was a wife, her husband beat her (but never my mom) and didn’t think she should have any life except in relation to him, she never did work outside the house and didn’t seem to have any opportunity to, my mom saw how social forces worked to keep her and other women down, she didn’t think women could just up and go do whatever, unless they had their own money and property like my dad’s aunts did.

    I think the answer is between them, but mostly think the only thing you really have control over is yourself so what you do is the bigger factor. So I think people who feel like everything outside of them is holding them back - it’s unproductive even if true. You might not be able to address the victimizing factors, but how do you even know if you don’t try?

    I think negativity in general sort of bugs me. One of my coworkers is so negative. Since she’s worked with us she’s dropped like 70 lb to reach a good weight, gotten her eyes fixed, had a grandchild, so much good she could celebrate but only she sees the bad, what is wrong not what is right!


  • DO whatever makes you feel better is not bad advice. Some of these studies have overarching trends that I do believe - caffeine and Adderall are protective to your brain, a little bit of speed keeps the brain healthy.

    Alcohol and Benadryl are risky over time, so a habit of downers is detrimental to the brain over time.

    Logically this makes sense. I think to some extent it’s just metabolism/weight, staying lean is healthier all round but there does seem to be a pattern of results showing a habit of doing a little bit of stimulants is good for you.


  • I’m going to second (third, fourth, fifth) the Roth IRA recommendation. You can set it up with Schwab or whoever and can make recurring contributions too (set it and forget it) there are income limits so if you are really raking it in one year you can’t contribute that year but whatever you put in there is still (usually) going to grow in value. If you have an emergency situation and need the money you can withdraw contributions, not earnings, ahead of retirement, so it’s not lost to you, but working for you and much easier at tax time, no worries about how to report it.


  • New College WAS a school where kids sort of designed their own major, did a project or thesis and defended it. The Veggie Bus that ran on used oil from McDonald’s fryers was a New College project. It was good for hyper achievers who didn’t fit into a canned curriculum. I don’t know that I’d call it “liberal” but it was progressive and challenging.

    This apparently annoyed the fuck out of the governor for some reason. Maybe he just doesn’t like the idea of smart weirdos. But it’s those people who move us forward, the smart ones who don’t fit in.


  • That can’t be unique. I think most guys want a woman who can hold a full time job. That is not a big ask, it’s like a minimum - it makes absolute sense, you will be stronger together. I would be extremely suspicious of a guy who didn’t want me to work. Even if they made so much and wanted to cover all the bills, great. I work, we have some money to save and I can go get my legs waxed or whatever without having to ask for money to do it. I do not want someone to have that sort of control. I disagree strongly with the commenters saying that you should bend on this, it is not at all an outrageous thing to need.


  • As someone with kids, I wouldn’t have dated anyone seriously who didn’t have kids, and my now-husband says the same. It just isn’t likely to work out. Not impossible but in general parents do relate better to other parents, they understand you need time for the kids, and understand that’s not all you are, that you are also still a person with adult desires.

    So you may get screened out BY the single parent.

    Discreet and discrete from the kids hookups? Not the same criteria. Just attraction and compatibility. If it’s just spending some time together, that sort of dating, sure. I didn’t want those to go anywhere though. Just some relaxation and fun with others who were also in the same mindset. When I was ready to seriously date, those guys actually wanted to, but I didn’t think it would work out.

    I guess I agree with the consensus here - if you WANT a ready made family because you want to raise kids but not procreate, sure go for it, just wanted to give you the view from the other side.