don

[WARNING: EXISTENTIAL CRISIS CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS! DO NOT APPROACH.]

Fake: micro$haft would never kill my kids when they could monetize them instead

So the lambs that voted for the wolf are mad that the wolf is going to continue doing what wolves usually do. Got it.

Chill out, Nat, it only comes if you call it. Add to that, it’d be pretty dope to have it deliver drinks and snacks while you’re couchlocked.

Get your shit together, Nat.

It gets ‘em in the right ballpark, at least, and away from confidently saying “Wore-sess-tur-shah-yer”, so I’m good with it.

Buffer me harder, daddy

Anon is so dense that he will surpass the Poincaré recurrence time of the Universe, and will exist forever. This also means that for every iteration of the current universe he passes through, another iteration of anon will be produced, such that there will eventually be enough idiot anons to form its own entire universe.

Anon is infinitely and eternally stupid.

Sorry, ladies, but you were outvoted by the conservatives by a large margin. You could try confronting them, but it’s far too late now.

You casts your vote, you takes your choice. And you takes the consequences of your utterly braindead choice.

I can’t figure out how the fuck any Muslim even barely knowledgeable of trump doesn’t know that as a republican, his whole platform is built on the backs of Israel-worshipping US Christians. They, like many other groups, may as well be lambs voting for the wolf.

We’ll get ‘em a shit ton of Prilosec so they can continue comfortably

The picture’s alt text:

Did you base the saucer shape on pop culture depictions of aliens, or was that stuff based on your ships? Does the rotational symmetry help with … hey, where are you going?

Sure, do it for your mental health, but it won’t do anything else now. That ship has sailed, been torpedoed, and is now chilling at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Woo-stah-sure.

Brzhen chish chick evich.

Now you can eat a full plate of spaghetti without even using a plate. Might get a little messy, be warned.

My guess is that normal people, such as the ones least likely to be on Lemmy, don’t do anything when an ad plays. They’re accustomed to seeing them, and aren’t likely to be inclined to stop them, as quite a few on here would. There are always outliers, though.

It’s sad so many conservatives in the US are so easily duped.

FTFY

From the article:

Elizabeth Len was at that Planet Fitness on Monday morning before law enforcement discovered Sink.

She said she and other members noticed a bad smell in the building near the tanning rooms. “The tanning bed has a door, I believe, but still, why are we not concerned that the tanning bed has been closed for three days, potentially?” Len said to WTHR.

I agree, those who voted for that fucking idiot are indeed dumbfuck Americans.

In order to make the bid work, the families “agreed to forgo a portion of their recovery to increase the overall value of The Onion’s bid, enabling its success,” the families said in a statement.

The power of unity and determination beautifully demonstrated.