This isnāt atypical, professors email their students a lot and I personally donāt have a problem with it. The reason why Iām writing here is because of the contents of said email. Donāt worry, itās nothing illegal.
Some of you might remember me writing about a library display where some of the posters had the OUN flag. I went to two of my professors about it (history and political science) to see if they knew anything about the display itself and the flag. To make a long story short the answers I got were disappointing, they didnāt know anything. I went the slightest extra mile with my history professor as he actually looked up what the flag was during our meeting. I went to him the next day to push a bit more on how it might be inappropriate to display neo-Nazi images in our school. I donāt want to go over every detail but if you are new and want to know everything or just need a refresher here are the posts: Part 1 and Part 2
So, resuming after that, it has clearly been a little while since Iāve had this conversation with my history professor and I honestly thought this would be the end of such a shitty saga, but yesterday he emailed me about it. At the end of our last meeting he claimed he wasnāt an expert on Ukraine so he is not the best authority to be asking, I brought up Ivan Katchanovski as an authority saying maybe Iād just read his works. He was unfamiliar with Dr. Katchanovksi so I spelled out his name as my professor seemed curious (he even wrote it down) and in turn he told me to look into Timothy Snyder. Our chat ended there and I thought that was it, but it wasnāt.
When I looked at my school email yesterday I saw one from him (special notifications for my professors so I donāt miss anything important) and the subject line referenced Katchanovski and the red and black flag. I wont write the email verbatim but i will do my best to give an accurate retelling:
āHello SpaceDogs,
Because of our last office hours together when you brought up issues about the red and black flag and Ivan Katchanovski, I wanted to take them to the head of the Ukrainian āclub.ā I made sure not to out your name or class so you can be certain none of this will connect back to you. I directly pasted his thoughts below, and because I am not an expert on this topic I cannot help much but I encourage you to read far and wide and critically. Context is important. Scholars like William Risch have issues with Katchanovskiās arguments. Of course, we should listen to fringe ideas, but one must be careful with them and consider differing perspectives.
Regards,
Professorā
So Katchanvoski is fringe, huh? Well, as you can see this isnāt the greatest start and I was honestly shocked when I saw this email in my inbox, I donāt remember ever alluding to wanting him to investigate for me, but I guess my pathetic attitude made him pity me. I will be honest, when I read the subject line I was a little excited, thinking he had contacted Katchanovski for me, but when I read the full email I saw that wasnāt the case.
I am sure you are all curious about what the head of the āclubā said. Again, I cannot write verbatim but I will summarize:
The head of the club has many issues with Katchanovksiās perspective. He claims that Katchanovksi is very in line with the Russian governmentās narrative and those on the academic left are eating it up. He (the head of the club) rejects both the idea that Ukraine is a proxy for NATO and that the US planned the Maidan coup. He says Katchanovskiās sniper argument is interesting. But he has many issues with all of this stuff. He cites William Rischās critique of Katchanovski and links it: https://commons.com.ua/en/rozstrili-na-majdani/
for a shorter piece he gives this one: https://kyivindependent.com/euromaidan-murders-case-why-is-the-verdict-criticized-and-why-is-it-about-russia/
This next part is difficult for me to write but he goes on to compliment Rischās piece as it acknowledges that the whole ordeal was very complicated and messy, he even makes a little comment about Katchanovski making a big deal over one supposed sniper. Some state actors and academics are taking advantage of the situation to form their own narratives.
He asserts that other things Katchanovski has written about are completely wrong, especially when it comes to the Donbas: it wasnāt a civil war, they were Russian backed separatists who had so little public support that they only gained ground after Russian soldier boots hit the ground. He cites Serhy Yekelchyk for the Russian troops in Crimea and other parts of eastern Ukraine. There is no incident of Ukrainians ever wanting to separate and join Russia. He says it is more similar to Quebec and Albertaās issues with the Canadian feds. There is a right wing presence in Ukraine but it is not that pervasive, especially not in the military and government. There are more far right wingers in Western Europe and North American than in Ukraine.
About the flag, he links this article: https://kyivindependent.com/everything-you-didnt-know-about-ukraines-flag/
He summarizes the article, how back then it had nothing to do with fascism and was more about resistance. Resistance to who? Itās not clear as it was the 12th century and both Russian and Ukraine did not exist. It is correct that the UPA uses the flag, it is not intended to be fascist, although some divisions did fight alongside the Nazis. But they only did that because they wanted to be free from the Soviets (he then brings up the holodomor as a reason why). But they eventually turned away from the Nazis as they saw that they (Nazis) didnāt actually care about Ukraine. He doesnt know about any anti-Semitism from the group but cites Snyderās Bloodlands as a piece to read. Some of the UPA were in line with the fascists but that did not last. Even with such a messy history it is safe to assume that those who wear the flag do not align with fascists and just want to express Ukrainian resistance to imperialism (which it has a long history of fighting against).
Thatās it. Thatās the email.
Iām going to be completely honest with you all, this was the catalyst for me. This is what finally did me in and caused me to break down. I havenāt cried in so long but this is what did it. I couldnāt hold it in anymore and just let the tears and sobs out.
I know I sound pathetic and a passerby liberal or conservative will read this and look down on me, call me a psychotic tankie who canāt handle the truth. I get it, I do. But this moment just cemented the fact that I am in a horrible institution and am truly alone.
Iām fringe, just like Katchanovski, and I have no one else here like me.
I donāt know why he would email me this. He had good intentions, I know, but god does it suck. I thought our conversation was done. I knew I was alone and I was the only person i could ever rely on, but this just for some reason made it worse. This is so much more than an uphill battle for me, Iām practically scaling a steep cliff.
Rest assured I did not respond, and from what I can tell he sent it after our class. I wonder if he noticed how off Iāve been this week. Who knowsā¦
The last thing Iāll do is drop out, so donāt worry about that, but this has just gotten a lot more complicatedā¦
Proceeds to (1) say something antisemitic, in two different ways, just in case you missed it the first time (2) apologise for nazis and nazi colaborators (3) explain why one and two are justified (4) appeals to ancestors of 800 years ago (because thatās not a nazi thing, is it? Do they also have a taste for runes?) (5) explain why itās okay that all this is āmainstreamā in Ukraine and doesnāt indicate a right-tendency (6) complains about left wing academics, as if thatās not par for the course for someone who downplays the right in general and nazis in particular.
I can see why youāre upset, comrade. Sorry you have to go through this gas lighting.
As @[email protected] said, youāre likely dealing with at least one cryptofascist.
Unfortunately, you were always going to have an experience like this. Itās a foregone conclusion for anyone who steps to the left of the liberal-colonialist-imperialist-fascist worldview. You can find solace in a few others from the global north and many others in the global south. Just know that you stand with the masses, billions of the masses, who will be delighted to hear that you are willing merely to accept their suffering as a fact; itās validating.
Fortunately, your current feeling of alienation will pass. You will be able to steel yourself as @[email protected] and I and many others have had to do. Look after yourself. Rest. Keep reading. Read everything critically but inoculate yourself from shit takes and brainworm-inviting arguments by, at times, only reading ML or other Marxist texts. Such works are like a tonic for me. They remind me that Iām not losing my mind, that my eyes and ears do not, in fact, deceive me. Marxist theory can a better form of escapism than fiction.
A couple of Marxist-adjacent people who may be near you or who may have āfollowersā near you are perhaps J Maufawad-Paul and Brenna Bhandar. If you find others in Canada who like their work, you may find yourself in good company. You could always get involved with the First Nations, too, and become a vocal advocate ā reactionaries and critics will have a tough time gas lighting you for that without being obviously racist dickheads.
Thatās literally what this is, isnāt it? Gaslighting. Iāve never been gaslit before so I didnāt know what it felt like. Itās horrible. I really did question if I was crazy. If two authority figures are saying I am, maybe itās true. Itās not, of course, but I went through those feelings of questioning my sanity. Itās a painful experience, I never thought it would hurt so badly. Even though Iām not feeling as terrible as yesterday, it is still lingering and the lecture today plus a new email I received is not helping. Sometimes I feel like this is being done on purpose but I have to remember I am not the centre of the universe.
Maybe I should read Marxist theory as a relaxer, it may help me make it through school more than video games will (although they are fun). Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with the sheer volume of works it can be hard to choose.
I will survive my undergrad even though Iāll be a little ātraumatizedā by the end. Maybe my masters wonāt be as bad if I can study under a professor that is worth learning from. I want to get involved with either my schoolās Indigenous club or with a local group but my social anxiety hold me back tremendously. Once I get it reigned in I will definitely move forward with that.