So a couple months ago I started questioning/cracked my egg. I feel kind of conflicted about it. I resonate a lot with some parts of the gender dysphoria bible and some things I’ve read written by other trans people which to me feels significant. It helped explain the background wrongness I’ve felt but brushed off for years and recontextualized some past experiences that I had clocked as weird but did not understand at the time.
On the other hand I don’t think what I am interpreting as dysphoria is debilitating or anything. I’ve worked, done some schooling and finished an associate’s degree so I feel like I don’t really have it that bad. I did buy some thigh high socks and I like them but I don’t think I felt euphoria or anything wearing them.
I’ve started seeing a therapist to treat my depression and anxiety and I talked about being trans with him a bit. We’ve only had a couple of sessions but he was surprisingly cool and very to the point about it. He said “So you are a transgender lesbian” while I was kind of dancing around it and it stunlocked me a bit. I do appreciate his support but I feel wrong thinking of myself in that way, like I haven’t earned it or maybe I’m just wrong and I’m not trans.
Did anyone else feel like this when they started to transition? Was there anything that made it easier for you to get over it?
I’m not the person you asked, but I started HRT very recently so I think I am in a good place to gauge my mental changes. Honestly for me personally, I do not think hormone therapy affected my mood much. I feel great, but I think that feeling has come from finally starting changes in my life that I have long awaited. Other than that, I feel like it is easier for me to cry, which I like, and I just feel very much myself. I’ve heard other people say that they felt great immediately after starting HRT, so I suppose results may vary.
I have read people saying it happened to them but it does seem like a ymmv type of thing. Since I went through puberty I’ve felt pretty empty and disconnected so I’m hoping HRT will be able to do some heavy lifting for me in that regard.