• spudwart@spudwart.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    108
    ·
    11 months ago

    “I am driving a lifted DODGE RAM TRUCK”

    "My lifted DODGE RAM TRUCK has BLINDING WHITE LED headlights positioned EXACTLY at EYE LEVEL. "

    “I am currently TAILGATING you in the RIGHT LANE even though you’re going TWENTY MILES AN HOUR over the speed limit and the LEFT LANE is OPEN.”

    “There are MONSTER ENERGY and FOX RACING stickers on the rear windshield of my lifted DODGE RAM TRUCK.”

    “There are PERFECTLY CLEAN mud tires and MASSIVE CHROME RIMS on my lifted DODGE RAM TRUCK.”

    “I make THIRTY-ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS a year and thought that that was a WISE FINANCIAL DECISION.”

    “I bring cases of BUD LIGHT to girls at high school parties while my wife and children are at home.”

    “My lifted DODGE RAM TRUCK has a GUN RACK which holds the AR-15 that I bought at WAL-MART.”

    “YETI COOLERS kick ass!”

    • Hboc22@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      11 months ago

      I’m 100% white trash. I own a 90s model, 4 cylinder, 5 speed pickup truck that does everything I need it to. It isn’t my daily driver because it’s not a fashion accessory it’s a goddamn pickup truck. The ass end being light if your bed is empty makes the things harder to handle in adverse weather. Not too mention I beat the fuck out of it, using a truck as truck doesn’t leave it looking pretty. What I’m saying here, is that even down in the south where I’m at, a good chick of us think these people are dipshits too

      Yeti Coolers are actually the shit though. Just never buy one from a store. Just find someone who drives one of these shiny lifted trucks and offer them a reasonable price for the one they paid full price for the next time they are freaking out about being behind on their truck payment. When you buy the cooler from them, if you want to make the world a better place, give them a box of condoms too. I’m being serious these dumbasses have the forethought of fucking goldfish. They tend to have litters and be completely surprised. The Yeti 160 that I own was bought for 40 bucks from a guy that made 12 dollars an hour, and had 5 kids (with a 6th on the way). Of all the stereotypes of these kind of people you listed I think you missed the one where they tend to fuck themselves into poverty.

      Which is probably why I sound so mean about this. I don’t care what someone spends there money on. If driving a lifted truck makes you happy, you do you as long as you can actually drive the thing without being a nuisance to others. But it’s an entirely different story to watch a grown man spend so much money to play redneck cosplay while simultaneously pumping out kids left and right that they can’t afford to give a decent life too. I’m sick of meeting people who drive these expensive cock replacements, wear overpriced fashionable camo everywhere, and blow any decent sum of money they luck into on weapons they don’t even understand how to maintain, only to find out they have 6 kids and are renting a 2 bedroom trailer. So fucking frustrating to see.

            • Lionel@endlesstalk.org
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              8
              ·
              11 months ago

              We need GENUINE copypastas made by REAL AMERICANS in AUTHENTIC FACTORIES with GENUINE INGREDIENTS not these flimsy REDDIT REPOSTS.

              • spudwart@spudwart.com
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                6
                ·
                11 months ago

                Nothing more American than taking someone else’s idea and claiming it’s your own.

                And if you think any other country is known for this, then mission accomplished.