It took ~5 minutes and there was ZERO pain.
I even anticipated this. There was no reason to think it would be hard in any kind of way.
Why am I like this?? Why is my brain such mush when it comes to my executive functioning while several other parts of my mental being are more than fine or even slightly supercharged (when I’m not depressed or out of mania)
The kicker? The appointment isn’t for a doctor or a dentist or something else that would be “normal” to dread.
It’s an appointment to pick up a brand new company car. A 2023 Mercedes EQA to the tune of 50K€. Most people would JUMP at that kind of opportunity, but not me. No, I sit there contemplating whether I even deserve a car that costs twice my annual salary, and that I’m just deluding myself into thinking I’m a valued part of society, that someone will realize they made a mistake and such a car was never meant for me (or “anyone like me”).
This after a double dose of 15mg ritalin, by the way. Without it I would never have been able to push myself over that limit to begin with.
Fuckin’ a…
ZERO pain
Bcs the timing, that exact moment was just right? At least in my case it’s like that. Being patient for that moment to arrive has lowered my overall stress considerably.
Congratulations!
Although of course you do deserve to drive that car, remember your boss chose it to make their company look successful. And maybe also to justify their own even more expensive vehicle.
You can now confuse the fuck out of everyone by using your turn signals correctly!
Drive safe, and may you have green lights and convenient parking wherever you go.
ive been struggling to make a normal-ass drs apt for the same time. enjoy your car!
edit: I did not mean to minimize your struggle if it came across that way
Reading this, i guess i have ADHD or something. I push off very simple tasks like it’s a very difficult thing to do for months and years
Getting a proper diagnosis and medication was one of the best things I ever did. Life went from super difficult to just mostly difficult.
It’s possible you’re playing Life on hard mode.
I’ve gotten so much worse at this since I started working from home. I love working from home, but damn, I can’t even be bothered to shave anymore.
Bro please take care of yourself, take it from someone who knows. Without the external pressures of a regular office schedule, it is very likely you’ll eventually crumble under the decision anxiety or the myriad other sister-concerns of it.
I wish I knew what the fix for this was, but I dont. Dm me if you’d like to talk.
I’m not quite as bad as I think I made it sound, but it’s a noticable increase in lazyness for sure.
This is my issue right now. I got laid off from work and my options are to either get a new job or start my own business that I’ve been thinking about for years as I hate working for someone else. I just don’t have much faith in myself that I’ll actually manage to run the business and do all the things that needs to be done when they need to be done as there is no one telling me to do it. I have no trouble getting up in the morning when I know I have to do something but I dread what it’s going to be when the have to turns into should
I don’t have much to say besides, good job. We all believe in you.
ive had a new company ipad for almost two years now and i keep getting reminder emails to return the old one which only requires me to drop it off, unpackaged, at a ups store, one of which is a block away from a grocery store i go to often.
