I don’t think you should feel ashamed at all, from your description I feel like we’re very similar lol
I’ve also been trying to be less cautious and more open, and the way I’ve been doing it is to be weird in front of people. Not maliciously, but I want people to have a funny story to tell their friends, and I’m less worried about feeling embarrassed in front of strangers because I’m never gonna see them again. I’m not interested in weed or alcohol at all, and this has been working so far.
Don’t be discouraged, I like the way I am, I bet I’d like the way you are too, so I hope this helps
You mean the doodle at the bottom?