You’re doing the right thing. They’re just trying to juice their own numbers by pressuring you to say something effusive.
Creating an instance is not free and requires some effort (including a little research). Discord is free and creating a server is as easy as falling off a log. I don’t like Discord, but let’s be objective about why this happens.
that sentence is not only valid for gender, it’s for anything other cultural label (like genders are).
How about race? Can white people elect to be Black?
The mob boss who wants $8/mo for a lame service but won’t harm you if you don’t want it?