If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.
“So, what are you in for?”
“Seventh dildo.”
This was one of the laws broken in Half As Interesting’s “Crime Spree,” which became the pilot of their series “Jet Lag: The Game.”
If you have Nebula, it’s worth a watch.
Finally found a quest I’m absolutely sure my D&D group has NEVER played before.
In Texas, owning more dildos than guns is a crime. Probably.
They probably have some that are dual purpose.
Normalize mailing Texas lawmakers 7 dildos.
Nooo. That’s what they want you to do.
It’s been their whole plan all along!
Do they want used ones?
Of course it’s possible to own more than 6 assault rifles, right?
Only if you compromise and get the assault rifles without dildo attachments. Unacceptable to me, that’s why I don’t live in Texas.
Not if you get the wrong type of pleasure out of those rifles I guess…
Suzie no! Don’t put the rife there!
“Compromises the innocence of children”???
Unless you are incredibly liberal parents, children don’t even know what the fuck those are until they’re old enough to recognize it as anything more than just a “tube”. By the time they grasp the idea that it’s something sexual, they’re old enough to handle that knowledge.
“smaller government” apparently just means few dildos for the inspector to have to count.
Republicans have long wanted a government small enough to fit inside a vagina.
Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?
Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?
What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?
Home inspections would trigger lots of backlash. This will just regulate physical stores because the lawmakers are boomers. Also you can’t have a massively-multi-dildo display at home if you expect snitches to come over.
Maybe they’ll use this as an excuse to monitor people’s online activity and/or mail. What if you’re buying dildos? Also lathes and 3D printers might become popular among sex shops for on-demand production. Invest!
Everything’s s dildo if you are brave enough.
Certainly color…
The Texas House has at least 87 dildos. Someone should report them.
The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won’t anyone think of the children, PLEASE!
And scream about “parents rights”
that’s a funny way to spell child brides.
Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?
So many questions.
At this rate they’ll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor’s offices hold dildo buybacks?
I will personally develop a toy that juuuuuust skirts the edges of their definitions called a dildon’t. I see a glorious market in my future.
Ghost dildos?
who cares, ill send people more double ended dildos to fight against the law!
What if they’re dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?
what is not fair is that all texans have at least one dildo as long as elon resides there.
I don’t agree, but I’ve also literally never seen a sex toy for sale in Walmart. Like, is that a thing?
look near the condoms. You’ll find some really basic and boring ones.
Last time I looked (years ago, admittedly) you’d also have to know what you were looking for to find it. Like a plain box with no pictures that just says “personal massager”. You can find racier stuff in a Spencer’s.
One for each day of the week except God’s day, as He said “on the seventh day you must [give it a] rest”
