Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!
How were they enforcing this?
It’s just a tack on when they do search warrants… oh we did not find any drugs but we found 7 dildos… Off to prison!
That’s not a dildo, it’s a stirring stick.
They’ll know I’m breaking the law, because I’ll be flying my custom gadsen flag with 7 dildoes on it that reads “Come and count them”
That just lets people know you have dildos to steal
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?
There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.
Have you seen their politicians?
those are just plain ol’ dicks
First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.
They came for the dildos…… and BOY did they came!!!
Because I was not a dildo
Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I’d rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
Oh don’t worry. They’ll get around to doing that as well.
Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she’s very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State… it’s CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠
#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)
So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?
Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom…
She’ll say “thanks a bunch” and get on with her day.
What if it was a dildo-gun?
What part of 'shall not be infringed ’ do you not understand!? 🤣
Gun with an erogenous handle?
The new top post in this community. I hope everyone is proud of themselves. I know I am.
I feel honored and touched.
But enough about your personal life…
Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.
They’re basically just disposable bullet style vibrators.
Disposable for when you get post nut clarity?
Wandering in Wallmart, you see the nice cheap disposable dildos and you remember that article you read about how overwhelming prostate orgasms and your curiosity gets the better of you and in the trolley it goes next to the ready meals, the grab bag of doritos and the six pack of beer. You’re ready for the weekend.
Saturday evening rolls into night time and there’s nothing on any of the channels. You watch a couple of instructional videos and then it’s experimentation time.
Well, it’s all quite mind blowing but you’re really not sure that that was it, and now you have a dildo you don’t want to look at so it goes in the bin and you’re back to square one.
Five weeks later you’re in Walmart looking for some ready meals and a six pack of beer for the weekend, and something catches your eye above the toothbrushes. Here we are again. The disposable dildos. Maybe you’ll catch the wave this time. One more try, maybe?
For those curious to read the penile penal code see 43.23(f): https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/PE/htm/PE.43.htm#43.23
That’s interesting:
(f) A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.
So it’s not just 6 obscene devices, you could have two Rampant Rabbits and break the law. I assume a double-ended dildo counts as one obscene device unless they can be disengaged to make two identical ones.
“Obscene devices” is rather a loose term too. The kinky are likely to have quite a few knocking about but for personal use only.
They define them in 43.21(7), albeit, still quite loosely:
(7) “Obscene device” means a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
So maybe a devices like the magic wand is in the clear since it’s marketed as a massager. I wonder if a vibrator could simply be repackaged and marketed as a massager, as well.
They often are.
Interestingly, it doesn’t include butt plugs - Republicans must love those, also penis cages and cock rings.
Possession with Intent to Distribute ?
I mean is a weapon of Mass Distraction ?
What is this law ???
For the double, if it counts as two when split it’d be illegal because two identical devices
Texas is weird.
Policemen Josh and Wade showing up to a party:
Josh: “Alright Wade, let’s make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there.”
The lawmakers are afraid of the competition
